Here I am. This is me.
Define blue.
here's the model of a perfect men (after david's utter dissapointment).
"i think man just do what they can until destiny reveals themselves to them" a-ru-gen san
i went for a swim today, it was raining lightly and the pool are possibly dangerous out of lightning strikes or toxic rain. the tenants seems to be aware of it for the pool were deserted, but my need for sollitude is on greater demands. plus, it's not everyday u can have the whole pool for your own.
so weekends. this is the one day in a week which i bitched bout how i fucked up my life. i drove down to Batu Pahat early saturday morning attending friends' wedding, and drove back to kl later the same evening. took me 2 1/4 hours a trip (ok, that was pretty fast) i hope i outrunned the speedtrap this time. the last time ive been there was bout one and half years ago... nothings seems to change, not the place, not me and not much of my life. still a peaceful town it remains, would be a nice place to settle down and start a family here. met a couple of old uni friends, along with some other surprises including someone i happened to know while attending MMU's prom during the first year, and phin's friend whom we met on one jogging session at tmn tun. small world it is.
another week to live thru. i gotta catch shrek 2 and 'the day after tomorrow' soon or accept the fact that i just might never will. but the mere thoughts of going to a movie alone are both depressive and agonizin enough to keep me in bed.
here's the nice lyric of "my immortal" from evanesence for u to sing along...
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[CHORUS:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
***
and more greek lessons today!
i just found out from wikipedia that Patroclus, Achilles' couzin whom bore his armor and got himself spanked silly by hector, is described as "Achilles' best friend and possibly lover, son of Menoetius". wow.
here's some more info on the screwed up myth by a screwed up civilization who dreamt up gay, 3p, and bondage (oh nooo. it's NOT the japs).
yesterday sow sent me an email attaching a picture of two pretty girls posing infront of a harbour. what makes it much pleasing is (except the fact of pretty people), a very natural pictures u see off a commoner's digital camera rather than the photobook/advertisement enhanced celebrities' photos floating around the internet.
view full size
everytime im occupied with work, im used to open up as many applications as the old junk could afford before choking itself up (for conveniency's sake), and whenever i found it hard to explore between the locust-kinda-windows ive just unleashed, il naturally go for the [windows]+"M" key (windows+d for xp users) minimizing the mess starting new with a clean screen... and almost everytime i did that, it surprises me (still) seing the two girls appearing amongst all immediate problems and headache. (it's like : whoaahaaa?! where does this comes from??)
i usually have my desktop in a very messy mode, notice now how the icons naturally makes way for the two glorious babe. ;)
oh yea. GT coming soon. probably gonna get the ticket one of these days. with probability of two power by two thousand nine hundred seventy two against one (success rate in acquiring one of the 100 pit pass against all the "ma lak lou" in the nation).
"was suppose to go for shrek 2 tonight. but the mere thoughts of going to a movie alone are both depressive and agonizin enough to keep me in bed."
last night my younger brother came over, showing me the photos he took when he was in redang last week. remember the remarks i said bout him being a blur kid who, dunno-why but seems to be attracting girls? the stupid kid actually went to ask hot "guai po" to take photos with him, and numerous pictures taken with his female friends all cling onto him... makes both his older brother wondering why mom din distribute the chick magnet gene properly...
***
two facts learnt this morning...
1. handphone doesnt cause petrol kiosk fire, static does. so touch ur hand on the metal part of ur car everytime u went out to pump petrol.
2. feeding ur dogs with chocolates (cocoa) and raisin (and onions) can be hazardeous to the animal's health. so don't. (feed them to cats instead).
both from reliable source. so remember them.
migarth : "i didnt know bout this all along. i fed my dog some chocolates and he seems to like it. i bet he doesnt knows it though"
sowdog : "yeah"
sowdog : "i enjoyed smoking too :)"
migarth : "good point. my dog is suicidal"...
shin, protecting all dogs from human.
Answer - Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?
------------------
Democrat Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
-----------------------------------------------------
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
-----------------------------------------------------
Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click...(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips??
weekends.
went down to kl to get some stuffs from lowyat : dolphins cdrs, fish-shaped cd cases, a 104 capacity cd folder, and my black GLOOMY key chain (yeah, worth the trip). took a cab down from central visiting phin at her work place, wont wanna wake her up in the afternoon later.
sungei wang nikon promoter, low yet hot white tank top specs wearing chick, beutiful samsung showgirl, berjaya square optical england promotion pamplet distributing girl... seems of all the sudden the world is surrounded by alot of glorious hotness these days... izzit me or the great hotness migration has just begun?
oh, and troy was good. go watch it. eric bana alias mr general family man is da bomb now... no more gay fag arrow shooting women seducing legolas... though i still like brad pitt with his "im annoyed" looks. plus, the guy gets to bang virgin priestess... wooo hoo.
***
lesson of the week :
"If you ever hear a woman says the words "He's nice" you can pull out all the money you have on you and bet that she's not ATTRACTED to the guy she's talking about.
Women don't use the word "Nice" to describe men that they're FEELING it for."
Subject: Why Nagging a Man Doesn't Work
What a woman says:
'This place is a mess! C'mon,
You and I need to clean up,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear,
if we don't do laundry right now!'
What a man hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
maybe it's the babel fish...
migarth: would be fun if cyberjaya is actually by a seaside (they shouldve created the whole place in kelantan instead). like, having century square beside a long stretch of white sandy beaches, crystal clear water and deep blue sea... instead of wearing stupid formal office peon cloths u get to wear short pants, straw hats and girls will turn up in red hot bikinis (w/wo a lil jacket on the outside)...
u know, from the streetmall place looking to the horizon thru the alley opennings towards the main road, u'll see only hills and the blue sky... which is exactly what u'll see in perhentian minus the water, which is sometimes block by the decending beach. with the amount of palm trees around, it's not hard to imagin u're on a holiday resort's shopping complex. helps if it's a little bit windy though.
lilwan1: haha
lilwan1: wat's wif u 2day?
migarth: (must be the company water)
lilwan1: hehe
migarth: everytime i look at some lush plantation or sands or palm trees or stones/fountains, i think of beaches and resorts.
lilwan1: you're a werid dude
migarth: yeah, it's not the first time that occured to me...
"justice has a new name, it's called "zatoichi" (means: old, blind and kicking ass)"
lilian tries speakin mandarin. which makes her times more cuter having constantly waving her hands trying to express words she couldnt find the right mandarin word to replace with. having her funny sentences interjected with occasional english, she sounded like the rebecca russian girl in taiwan entertainment programme. gone thru only few years of mandarin learning experience in an all-english living environment, it's quite respectable she actually pulled this far. kudos girl~! (would call u speaking in mandarin when i feel like having a good laugh) hahahaha ;)
after the jap buffet @ saisaki, rushed back to pj joining my coursemates in redbox. those people behave like monkeys after taking alcohol. sang till 4am, crawling to bed at 5 loosing my voice. then 4 hours later crawl to church, the fact that having alot of stuffs waiting to be settled pulled me from my restful sleep. phin also went missing attending her genting vacation.
had lunch today with my ol hardcore malay friend who is working as firewall/security engineer in shell. seems like shell is the most likely place where you could work and be content with... like, what other companies offer sleeping room in their offices? i used to believe all job sucks, so it's just better off to get one with a higher pay. but shell offers both good pay and a great working environment. gonna sent my resume in one of these days.
oh. and happy birthday to keong.
"then god realised some men are just not good with relationship... so he made dogs"
feelin better?
yes.
hmm. stay that way.
huh?
her. stay healthy.
stay that way?
er hmmm.
mm.
erm huh.
he he he.
urh. cu.
*sunday
hur?
he he. i am on my way to genting.
enjoy yerself. and take care.
you read bout the head decapitating news.
this is war, suffering and harshness is obviously involved. regarding the US jailers mistreating the captives, i agree u dun invite a captive sitting down drinking tea and expect him to talk. it's ironic sometimes that the same aggression we fear are the same aggression which keeps us safe everyday... but murdering a hapless captive is NOT an excuse for anything (those swine dun even know how to kill properly).
for those who i havent seen it, i bid thee NOT TO. me and a colleague was jokingly watching it as the satanic chanting goes on for quite a while, until they force the poor captive onto the ground and start cutting his head when he's still alive screaming frantically... and we went like "oh. shit", quite traumatized by the turn of event and later feeling very cold and numb, the frightenning scream still echoes. well, the content will come ur way, in links or email eventually, but i trust ur own judgement over ur actions. yet i felt compeled to provide you with enough information for ur decision making along the way, so you would have enough consideration to draw upon.
dun want u just stumble across unnecessary pain out of curiosity... but sometimes despite what the father tells them, kids still have to touch the hot kettle themselves before they learn the meaning of "hot". :) i dunno if such is a better case when a kid taking his father's advice and not touching the kettle at all.
it's hard being a father. ;)
"work? work is for people who dont know how to fish..."
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules: "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued: "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are
there any questions?" At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"
reminds me of the times i used to take two buses, traveling 50 miles to and fro regularly to infiltrate the femala student dormitory of johor politechnique institute at pasir gudang, visiting a friend of mine. instead of bringing flowers i used to bring stupid stuffs like pineapple or bananas (maybe i shouldnt hv done that). first time i went there knocking at her door, she came out just woke up wearing film thin cloths, and from her expression i could tell she was as much surprised as i was, closed the door on me retreating inside putting on something more convenient (so i could focus when im talking to her), left me standing there with widen eyes and bleeding nose ;). those were the days... got caught doing that quite often though, and il just say im not from around (there was this big sign stating "no guys allowed" at the entrance, but i just whistle on my way in pretending to not notice the obvious and big signboard. i wasnt a student there so i figured they couldnt do much bout it, hope that din put my friend into too much trouble).
fiece dormitory rep : "eh, tak tau pelajar lelaki tak bole masuk ka?!"
me : "ya ke (innocent look)? saya bukan pelajar sini worr.."
fdr : "ya la, tiap tiap kali pun cakap macam tu.."
goes on fer sometime. only if i were, maybe things could be different i guess :). just maybe.
(no i din take souveniers when i was there).
There was this case in this hospital's Intensive Care ward where
patients always died in the same bed and on Friday mornings regardless of
their age, gender, medical history or medical conditions.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the
supernatural. Why the death at that same bed on Fridays? So the doctors
decide to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause of the
incidents....
Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the
terrible phenomenon to occur again.
a new unknowing patient laid there.....
Some doctors holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to
ward off evils. waiting. the patient was resting still.
then 8am...... 8:30am........
Just before the 'cursed' time... the door to the ward swung
open...
Scroll Down
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Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, comes in and unplugs the life
support system so that she can use the vacuum cleaner.
it's monday as usual, the amazing part on top of that is everyone has gone sick/oversea/holiday/maternity leave, leaving only 2 bored person in the office. i can dance around naked if i wanted to, but ive to make sure the other colleague is strictly focusing on her codes without looking over the cubicle. it's a good thing the office consist of moderately-decent ppl (except for a pesky prinsip worshiping zealot manager, senior technical officer bloated with fart promises, and the foul swearing pirate machine)... but the least of it is we never go behind each others back with a dagger or with sacrastic remarks (we dun do it from the back doesnt mean we dun do it at all. we call each other "fag", "stupid ass", "homo", "nigger" right in the face)... which kinda helps lessen the unnecessary politics and tense relation. it's a peaceful place, i wonder if i could prevent myself from murdering/incapitating my colleague when i move into a more complex environment. how to treat
went for a movie, a haircut, picked up a book, church, swimming, onimusha. there goes another weekend. im still the same person i was, the car is still in the same dirty condition, resume dated to last year january, the room is still as messy with unfolded cloths piling close to the ceiling fan now... maybe if it piles up high enough i could just turn the fan on and have it cleaning itself.
yeah. maybe that will work.
im very, very tired, inside and out...
like a mighty killer whale washed on shore, tired and hapless.
(no. this is not a suicide note.)
it has been roughly three weeks since, but i still bear the two complexion tan like a zebra (that explains the stare i get at the pool)...
(FHM's world's 100 sexiest women was last night @ zouk and i missed it. cow~!!)
"Engelbert Humperdinck - Quando quando quando" (dun bother.)
i love the sense of emptiness. deserted places, streets, halls or highways. this is why i came to love the place im staying, coz late at night if i wander at the park or the ground area of the condos, i have the world for myself, a beutifully lit urban scape yet peace and quiet. if phin were to have rented a place here, we could have some good moments together just sitting in the evening breeze. occasionally i might sit down and had a little chat with the sentry guard. whom, out of fate rather than choices, remain temporary at their life saping boring job. they themselves infact knows it, that they dont belong, it's by the cruel facts of life none were left for many choices, especially in a city as such. the urge to make the world a better place or to enrich ur life or the life of those u love, defines a sense of accomplishment. For some, it can be archieved by creating order or security or a sense of home, for some it could be achieved by accumulating wealth... for me il take watever god would spare.
i couldnt sleep tonight, so again i wander down to ground looking for a quick snack. the orange streets lights shone in every corner, making the darkness less omnivous but rather zen and tranquil looking. so much for the four days break, i din go to cameron after all, and im actually feeling a little glad to be in office again tomorrow. four days, it came and went, i have been more conscious on the passing of days ever since the island trip. by fact that i waited 6 months to it, in fast forward. now that it is over, everything went into normal pace and i again are made aware of the current and what's next in line. next in line, i know not what is next in line or there anything next in line, i know not if im still walking the line or simply wandering around drawing one along. i tried to make sure every chapter falls with a fitting ending, most of the time it doesnt but yet, i tried, and i try still.
"do you really want to go?" she asked couple of times, and yet everytime my answer came following a pausing nod, "yes." i said. despite my own believe, i would try giving her the assuring looks, that everything's bout me and she not part of the many reasons i am to go. how i would try to convince myself it's really time to move on, see the world, go someplace, do something before youth makes way to the aging bones. i tried, but in the end, everything still falls down with her being in the center of the view. it was indeed a story trailing someway back, deeply burnt into ur memories like a hot iron onto a mule's ass, glimpse of memories clearer than anything else...
i have to. for best of both. i need time to pick up my old course and set the sail moving again. maybe by the time i do come back, you'll see me differently, maybe we might already forgotten everything we had, maybe you'll be married to someone else... but all which starts well, ends well. hope is infact the next best thing man could have ever asked for.
it's late. il finish up my resume, tidy up my documents, and look forward to what life has to offer next. maybe in favour from the heavenly father, i might get to tokyo just yet.
just maybe.
"disagree - crumbs"
church was amazingly deserted today. having most of the johorian known to be fleeing home every single chance they get to, causing this sunday worship to be 70% less crowded (most of the members are strangely, by coinsidence, johorian). Also new today is the implementation of the newly purchased LCD projector. The construction of the power point slide was a little bit off by my standard, dun say i din try, but you could never trust someone to get things done right (even by common sense) without micro management, should've attended the run thru that previous night. so it's still more or less my fault.
phin came over for swimming later in the afternoon. wore a two piece swim suit, not quite the red one she told earlier ago, which is too sexy even for her to feel comfortable in. red looks hot, so does white, or light-dirt-brown... maybe clothing with such little covering would always looks intriguing attrachtive (*applied to certain standard individual only). Said she might only wear it if she went some overseas beach (dang those ang mor), maybe i should plan some more further beach/island trips. much to my surprise she attended some V Mag + mambo events at Zouk some thursday ago, said the event turned out to be very entertaining and healthy none the less. maybe i should check out Zouk sometimes later.
after then, went to tmn tun sri melaka for dinner, mutton rendang. yummy.
oh yea, i also came home with sow's PS2, and bought the much anticipated title "onimusha 3" featuring takenshi kenishiro and jean reno. and, much to my dissapointment it seems to be faulty and doesnt run on the machine, damn. me and my brother ended playing 2 player Baldur's Gate : Dark Alliance till late night.
so ended the first day. (gotta update my resume soon *yawn*)
