Here I am. This is me.
Define blue.
the recent installation of broadband into my condo has been eating into my life. The data hose is spewing bazillion bits of information 24/7 into my room, with all the nests of wiring tangling up the place like some unattended growth producing enough magnectic field to magnetize my johnny. the computer is also taking a heavy toll with processors getting heated up and the seemingly infinite spaces of the secondary hardisk starting to get messy. a constant protest could be heard from the high pitch humming of rotating disks and furious blinking of the dsl modem. If one of these are gonna explode nowadays it has a high chance of catching me within the vicinity.
now im stuck with this thing called Ragnarok Online (as long as it remains free i suppose). It's a cute online role playing game with cute characters go bashing cute monsters. The unique business stratergy which made this mmorpg a great success in europh and asia is calculated by shin's ultimate formula :
cuteness --[attracts]--> chicks --[attracts]--> tons of guys
simple as that. and this works rather much obvious in large masses.
Corinthians' RO journal entry #01
"last night was having my routine cute monster bashing near the city of payon, the easy prey involves a two-piece egg shell monster, bears, willow trees, and a tall wooden tottem calling itself (trans.) "greatest general under the sky". Bears are generally good income selling its paws to local chinese restaurant, and the willow trees to balak (timber) fella who obviously made good money from it judging by the number of mercedece benz they owned and the thickness of golden chain they wore. for some reasons this game are just sooo not into promoting animal wildlife protection (you kill bears, seals, raccoon, and mermaid).
Then amongst the bamboo forest a female cleric approached me with a dull starting line "mage" and i go "yeah?". she was trying to buy some substance called "resin" from me, probably needing it for some quest. That thing is abundant in the area but obviously she needed some help to raise the amount to a 100 of those. Since the only thing this is useful to me is selling them off for some cash, i decided to give her those i had in stock for free, then as i go along i pick up more and came back to her with them. She's so amazed people will actually do these things without expecting anything in return, despite my refusal she gave me a skull ring and many blessings adorned with words of gratitude. before she went off she promised she would come back showing me the head gear after she've completed it. probably being nice isnt part of the game, but at least two people is happy that night.
"hey moon, go spread the good ok?"
"i will" she said.
maybe i still believe the person behind the character is a she..."
and as far as i noticed, some of the bloggers namely fr0stie, littlemisstinkles and tracy are also a hardcore fan into RO, probably played far and long enough to kick serious butt.
"a pair of boots... 1000 zeny
a +3 katana... 30,000 zeny
a slotted +5 plate armor... 5,000,000 zeny
still getting killed by porings... priceless"
this mail came in yesterday...
>Subject: [Fwd: [Fwd: [Fwd: Disturbing News on Beer]]]
>
>Yesterday, University scientists in the UK released the results of a
>recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
>
>Men should now take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The
>theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens)
>and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory,
>100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.
>
>It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
>
> 1) Gained weight.
> 2) Talked excessively without making sense.
> 3) Became overly emotional.
> 4) Couldn't drive.
> 5) Failed to think rationally.
> 6) Argued over nothing.
> 7) Had to sit down while urinating.
> 8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
>
>No further testing was considered necessary....
muahahahaha. be afraid, be veli afraid. :)
you wanna know how bad fresh grad employment is today? a UM grad can't find a job so he ended up in zoo negara pretending to be a monkey in a costume to con ppl (the zoo can't afford real ones),
one day he was jumping on trees under many tourists' watchful eyes and accidentally slipped and fell into the crocodile's pond... as he was panicking that the approaching crocodile might eat him...
struggling desperately, he heard a voice from the crocodile's mouth "brother brother dun worry, I AM FROM MMU!"
"A little trust goes a long way the less you have of it, the further you will go"
Someone mailed me this sometime ago. funny. must be hongkies or korean (no offence).
britney's "me against the music"...
this morning.
sowmasterofevil : hey sim, u got company.
shin : yes, i see dead people. they were here way before this place was built.
sowmasterofevil : dead ur head. some one left a message in your tag lar.
shin : oh. izzit? that's odd [click] [click] *grasp
well then i spend the next hour findling through the writtings ive been gradually dumping online for the past couple of months.
some few does drop by here in a regular basis, some just stumbled across accidentally or misled by keywords picked up by google spiders, some are just my hard-core-fans who's out to stalk me... bottom line is, it's a low traffic site and every traces of new users indeed demands some attention. strangely it started as my portfolio page, later evolved to place where i jot down my failing memories, then to senseless "thisworldisnotright" bitchy complains... only then when u realise people are actually reading these shit, you'll have some sense of awareness on the next things spoken aloud.
there goes those nasty posts i had in line. [destroying evidence with the paper shredder]
two persons sharring numerous similarities in behavior, attitude, fear and preference, will not always be the key being together. perharps it's not the likeness of two person whole thing's about, rather more on trust, respect, tolerence, confidence, and probably just sheer liking to the other...
best friends are more likely to the earlier mentioned.
"simple plan - perfect"
girls are genectically coded to be totally absorbed in a relation.
as bad as things things turned out. procrastating reasons and senses, girls will always fall back into the loop. Even in pain their hope gives them satisfaction, and perharps hapiness.
there's a chinese saying, "die heart collapse floor"
that i dun understand still.
這世界往往人改變不了事情﹐事情改變人。
it started with a fine sunday morning. which is not every sunday when u live through the whole day without stressing yourself with worries of tomorrow and the long week following. Public holiday tomorrow = no work = more sleep = a happier me.
again playing bass on sunday's worship, havent been doing that in a while and my hands sort of went stiff and numb once the rift went too fast and excited.
Malaysia lost 2-3 to China during the Thomas cup asia qualifying finals. It's not really important that we win this one, but naturally nobody likes loosing. The swimming pool was crowded. having my friends around, some stupid fags who likes to just sitting around the pool starring at people makes me uneasy. people. people can be roots of all problems. a friend got threaten by her hostile housemates just because she's moving out in retaliation to their effort in increasing her rental (sounds absolutely absurd). an old church member (that i din know of), passed away after a surgical attempt on colon cancer. then another friend met an accident near sin chew in ss2, lost memory of how it happened, and left her appearence in a pretty bad shape.
nobody deserves this. it's easier to think that sometimes things just happens. we will have to put our faith on scale, believing that things are allowed for a better good. The way im putting this, clearly lines my tollerence with life and my line of faith. i hate it when bad things happens to people i know, god knows how will i take it when it happens to people i love. my paranoia precautious on people is a result of distrust after seeing/meeting/knowing/learning too many ass holes. and ass holes, out of stupidity, lust or greed, are proven to cause problems.
i wish i could just pick up a shovel and bury those people who have crossed my path. the world would be a better place then (as far as im concerned that is).
i still have to get to UH early tomorrow to settle things. hope that poor girl is able to sleep tonight. should be grateful for the things we have and the person we are, for things could be worst (for no apparent reason).
lost in the maze call faith. helping others is perharps the only way in helping myself finding a way out.
"good charlotte - hold on"
aka inu chan
i've taken down my patrick from hanging on the rear view mirror. i had always liked that red dog, but i hate leaving in bathing under the hot sun everyday having it slowly paling its colour... memories are best preserved at it's sweetest moment. he'll just have to stay quietly inside the passenger seat compartment for the time being.
the violent murderous bear
replacing the now empty space will be a pink/black gloomy bear, which im just about to get in few days time.
sniper on the roof
A long weekend coming up (well, slightly longer at least), i wonder where will i ended up again...
lost. as usual.
"let the wind and storm take me..."
"...Light up, Light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear..."
snow patrol's "run". caught it on the airwaves driving on valentine's night. bloody good song.
getting stuck in shitty traffics for 2 hours and having to wait for my food order for 45 minutes certainly does not brighten the already foul day.
the only thing worth looking forward to is the coming increament, if that too turns out sour, im all ready to go berserk...
"snow patrol - run"
and so she left. on her 9am flight, the last smile she gave turning around to the crowd ensuring them she'll be alright. flickers of tears still lingers in her eyes, reflecting the people that she wont be seeing anytime soon. there's no words from her still, but all of us knew (or at least hope) she'll be happy there..
so i wasnt at the airport ;), i know this coz tyler knows this...
ok, rewind. let's go a little bit further back. reformating the thoughts of what could POSSIBLY happened should i went to see her off :
"...she gave me a hug and i would look her in the eyes and say, "would you not stay if i asked you to?" she remains speechless, despite her upmost effort, tears flooded her eyes and she still shake her head trying to break the thoughts and having to look into my eyes. she held onto me sobbering quietly "il miss you", then push me away wiping her tears, turning around before decending the escalater giving a forceful smile saying with imminent traces of tears all over, "il be alright". i stand there, wondering how's the world gonna end, thoughts running between lines tryin to keep her at least for another second. but all i did was just standing there, and with her desperate looks waiting for me to say something, she finally left. walking over to the balcony seeing the plane took off, not sure of how things gonna end. full of despair and regrets turning to the exit only to find her standing there with her bags on the ground. then she ran up to him (strangely the view switches to third party)..."
i love all-traditional love stories... old as dirt, still going strong ;).
...wait a minute. these things only happens in bus terminals. *scratch scratch. damn, i have to rethink a whole ending again. maybe il put some satanic twist like when she was running back to him a mad cow would speed across the scene and caught the guy between its massive horns. she would miss her flight and gets no refund, wasted a grand which could easily fetch 4 bottles. better.
actually, cheng leong was using my camera. so from the pictures and stories retold by sow, and my imaginary idea of sad departure, i was able to put up a scene of what happened that day. here's a couple of pictures, as always you could find a more complete library of them at xes.cx
operator, i need an exit
suilin and jin-wy
bye bye big bear...*sniff
zing and suilin
from left : Xes, Ben, Suilin, Cris, Sow, Zing
there she goes...
god speed, girl! will hope to see you soon in less than a year.
gotto find somewhere to go tomorrow, im just not accustomed to spend this day alone.
"poets of the fall - late goodbye"
During my days of depression, my sis in christ mailed me this :
>esyin wrote :
>
>During the new year, i pray that you will:
>
>Like Paul , forget those things which are behind and press forward.
>Like David, lift up my eyes to the hills from which my help comes.
>Like Abraham, trust my God implicitly.
>Like Enoch, walk in daily fellowship with my heavenly Father.
>Like Moses, suffer rather than enjoy the pleasures of sin for a time.
>Like Job, be patient and faithful in all circumstances.
>Like Joseph, turn my back on all evil advances.
>Like Gideon, advance even when my friends are few.
>Like Andrew, strive to lead my brother to Christ.
>
>Amen.
and my reply to her was :
>i only pray to be like david beckham. filthy rich, tall, handsome,
>and got a hot wife. mauahahahahah. kidding. thanks for
>the prayer. the lord has will of his own im afraid. probably the
>purpose of my life is to serve as warning to the others. ;)
>
>cheers,
>shin.
guess i cant be helped.
Again the day is approaching, by his mercy let it be swift and painless.
it seems the happy big bloggers gathering sparked a tagboard war, which later on, snow-balled into huge slide spreading across few personnal tags leaving many people angered and hurt in the wake. People should start taking their actions in front of the computer seriously as things they do does travels across to the other end to another living person. So long have we been staring at this cold hardware we tend to forgot the emotions at the receiving end. for a live telecast of this flame war, visit xes.cx
had lunch with a friend yesterday. it's amazing how people tend to look especially attractive when they are happy and cheerful with things going right. For some significant individuals however, the cold expressionless look does attract attentions... but il need more sunshine in my life to cast away the death and glooms clouding my pressence.
might be getting my broadband this week. my recent interactions with the communication dominent has proven in further extend on how lame can a local company and their support personnel get.
oh, heard Gavin just left. and suilin in few days time. keep your fingers crossed, we might just get some crying scene going yet. ;D
photos to the recent genting trip here.
nothing much to write actually. cut my hair short (convict type kinda short), much like the new zealand sheeps, i need triming before summer. went genting yesterday with a bunch of friends, came to church spending time convincing people nothing did happen which inspired the new hair style, met a fresh IT grad fag... that's more or less bout the whole week.
there's so much on the list waiting to get done. maybe i should cut down my involvement with activities here before i go off for good, im not an emotionally strong person, seriously i should stop seeing some people at all, it only gives me doubts on how things are getting through lately. and on top of these, there be demons need killing.
the more i use the G3, the more i hate bout my V3. preference change in time. will post pictures later.
Went to the Tmn Jaya lake park last night, it was the second time ive been there, first time 18 months ago accompanying a friend during her relationship breakdown. despite the prophercy of some few sick inca drunk that the world might end, 18 months later and guess we are still here, all well enough to worry bout tomorrow and if we ever gonna pay off our house loan. Still, true as i had always bitched : something changes, some still remains.
Last night i figured, is about as far as i could go in waiting for things that would never come. It is best i take the next bus to anywhere but here, spaces are needed for me to forget what i once had myself believe in so much. i have a tendancy of worrying for someone i love, and the worst part is trying to get out from the frying pan, reaching the lit you heard sounds coming from the bottom and jumps back in again. Too many people hurt and died in my sturborness just standing here waiting, this affections has done more damage what any would have to, and here im putting it to rest.
so i finally gave up the only reason there is to stick around, after ive tend my tainted and wounded wings, il see you at the other side of the clouds. should be a happy day.
im reorganizing my japanese language notes again.. maybe il join japanese class 2 on the coming month.
"here without you - 3 doors down"
